The 6th and 7th semesters of college bring about a weird change in perfectly normal people.They Suddenly start worrying about their future and start preparing for exams like CAT, GRE, GATE and a few others. The entire atmosphere of the college changes.
Pre Exam Season-
ME: DUDEEE!!!weekend kaisa tha??
FRIEND: Awesome man!!!managed 2 catch the latest mallika sherawat movie :D
During the CAT/GRE/GATE season
ME: DUDE!!!weekend kaisa tha??
FRIEND: Positively delightful...watching mallika sherawat gyrate to the foot tapping number managed to leviate my despondent spirit greatly!!
ME: Ummm....you had brain surgery??!!!!
FRIEND:NOO!!! Practising my word list man....on the cover it said "most effective when used in everyday life"
ME: Be#$%*# ha#$^
This is also the time when people realise that throughout engineering they haven't really done anything except waste time(in my case learn pool/snooker :D) and master the art of "hanging out"...and that MBA colleges want certificates for co-curricular activities!!!! So there's a mad rush to "be a part" of college activities. Some join the placecomm(placement committee) others join the various technical societies in college in the hope that a certificate from them will smooth the entire process of getting into a top level college.
Now i was starting to feel out of the race and the weirdness was growing around me so i enrolled myself into a CAT class simply because everyone else was doing it(i still had no idea how to get the certificates tho). On the first day of class i was asked to give an 'assessment exam' to help me determine which sections should i focus on. After an almost 3 hour exam an assessment was carried out during which i was categorically told that i would clear CAT ...IF AND ONLY IF the Indian cricket team managed to win the world cup, and that i should maybe consider tobacco or poppy farming as a career option(considering the recent slump in salaries of the MBA's....i actually like the idea now). I eventually did join a "crash course" and took the CAT .....turns out the class people were right there's no way in hell am i clearing it EVER!!!
Of course unless the Indian team works its magic :D
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Quotable quotes
On popular demand and sheer boredom a few quotes.....
Cherry B- on being called dark several times ..."Ur a Fuc#$ng racist prick"
on being asked to eat veg food- ......."Sorry, I wud like to kill birds 2day"
all these are said with droopy eyes and a drunk voice :D
SHAMBHU- post vodka...... "Poolishe kyun aa rahi hai..??unko bolo apne ghar jaaye" (hic)
some more vodka.."I have a crush on *$$#%#@" ...!!!!!!
My favourite..."U DESERVED A C"
everyones favourite " Dude i hope u know where i'm coming from(yes ur responsible fr this one)"
DODO- After 2 minutes of meeting up "Koi mere se baat karo naa " ..."lets talk alot 2day"
after hearing me abuse "aiii cheee ganda" (repeats the abuse herslef/imagines it and again "AAI CHEEEEE GANDA"
On how to exit a program " Press Alt+f+4(yes seperately)"
my favourite "That guy was CASTROLISED(she meant castrated folks :D)"
Everyones FAvourite "meri itni itni itni itni fatti" (with hand gestures.... hands going
horizontally apart with each itni)"
CROWD FAVOURITE- "U guys are soo late(2 cheap mentality and shambhu)......
and then starts crying" :D
DISHA- ALL TIME GREAT..................... "I'm an open book"
On being asked to hang out ....."Mandir jaana hai.....nahi hoga"
Crowd FAvourite ......................."I will be on time"
My FAvourite .........................."The phone got cut on its own/u HUNG UP /Battery
is dead"........"I always talk......ur the one mumbling"!!
MAA- STANDARD LINE.... "SHUT UP(said with "the look" for max effect)
ALL TIME BEST..."MERE GHAR PAR AISA NAH HAI"
ULTIMATE THING- "(silence+"THE LOOK"+THE FINGER)and the person in
front is sweating blood"
KITTY SHULKLA- FIRST LINE............. "Hi, i'm n##%$sh with 2 e's"
STANDARD LINE....."AM i even supposed to respond to that?"
ALL TIME BEST......"YAWN(yes he actually says yawn)
GOA LINE ....(talking to some grl ) .."What do u want me 2 do....fu$k u
and leave you??"
DENIAL LINE......"I HAVE NEVER GONE 2 ANY BABA 2 FIX
MY BALD HEAD " :D
DAGDU- Whisky number 2- "arhh arhh(that noise) u guys are the best friends i
have"
Number 4- "arhh arhh..... Confidence ke alawa mere paas hai kya"
SEVERAL WHISKEYS"arh arh....."GUN TO YOUR HEAD.....(and then a
question)
On the bike-"Maine itni nahi pee hai yaar"
After getting drunk "ALibaug jaate hain....meri gaadi hai benc#$% cops ko
main sambhaal lunga"
CHEAP MENTALITY-
To girls on being asked the menu "The special for 2day..... IS ME(yes he
does this sober)
Post 3 old monks....."Lonavala jaate hain Benc$%#"
SLOSHED.........."That's an ALTO, dats a CITY(car test taken by me :D)
Post A Crash..."I was saving a puppy :D"
STANDARD LINE " pulsar sucks :D"
On DAting a girl....."What's there to tell?? " :D
OIL WELL- STANDARD LINE- "I am NOT RICH/i dnt have oil wells"
FIRST YEAR- "Dude im thinkin of getting a city/lancer"
SECOND YEAR- "Dude im getting a lancer/city(notice how cunningly he changes
the orientation to make it different :D)!!
PRESENT DAY- "dude i got a pulsar 200..and im leaving the country in a month!)
GIRLS STANDARD LINES-
ALL TIME FAVOURITE- "HAMARE GHAR PE AISA NAHI HAI"
"The guys can go ahead....wats the problem yaar?"
"(after the plan has been made and one grl backs out) Yaar if M$%#a does'nt come i cannot come....and so on and on(and the plan falls)"
"Y DO V NEED TO GO OUT OF NAVI MUMBAI?"
"The guys cancelled the plan this time ....we were in"
These all that i can remember.....do feel free to leave ur comments!!!
(and of course my quotes also :D)!!!!
Cherry B- on being called dark several times ..."Ur a Fuc#$ng racist prick"
on being asked to eat veg food- ......."Sorry, I wud like to kill birds 2day"
all these are said with droopy eyes and a drunk voice :D
SHAMBHU- post vodka...... "Poolishe kyun aa rahi hai..??unko bolo apne ghar jaaye" (hic)
some more vodka.."I have a crush on *$$#%#@" ...!!!!!!
My favourite..."U DESERVED A C"
everyones favourite " Dude i hope u know where i'm coming from(yes ur responsible fr this one)"
DODO- After 2 minutes of meeting up "Koi mere se baat karo naa " ..."lets talk alot 2day"
after hearing me abuse "aiii cheee ganda" (repeats the abuse herslef/imagines it and again "AAI CHEEEEE GANDA"
On how to exit a program " Press Alt+f+4(yes seperately)"
my favourite "That guy was CASTROLISED(she meant castrated folks :D)"
Everyones FAvourite "meri itni itni itni itni fatti" (with hand gestures.... hands going
horizontally apart with each itni)"
CROWD FAVOURITE- "U guys are soo late(2 cheap mentality and shambhu)......
and then starts crying" :D
DISHA- ALL TIME GREAT..................... "I'm an open book"
On being asked to hang out ....."Mandir jaana hai.....nahi hoga"
Crowd FAvourite ......................."I will be on time"
My FAvourite .........................."The phone got cut on its own/u HUNG UP /Battery
is dead"........"I always talk......ur the one mumbling"!!
MAA- STANDARD LINE.... "SHUT UP(said with "the look" for max effect)
ALL TIME BEST..."MERE GHAR PAR AISA NAH HAI"
ULTIMATE THING- "(silence+"THE LOOK"+THE FINGER)and the person in
front is sweating blood"
KITTY SHULKLA- FIRST LINE............. "Hi, i'm n##%$sh with 2 e's"
STANDARD LINE....."AM i even supposed to respond to that?"
ALL TIME BEST......"YAWN(yes he actually says yawn)
GOA LINE ....(talking to some grl ) .."What do u want me 2 do....fu$k u
and leave you??"
DENIAL LINE......"I HAVE NEVER GONE 2 ANY BABA 2 FIX
MY BALD HEAD " :D
DAGDU- Whisky number 2- "arhh arhh(that noise) u guys are the best friends i
have"
Number 4- "arhh arhh..... Confidence ke alawa mere paas hai kya"
SEVERAL WHISKEYS"arh arh....."GUN TO YOUR HEAD.....(and then a
question)
On the bike-"Maine itni nahi pee hai yaar"
After getting drunk "ALibaug jaate hain....meri gaadi hai benc#$% cops ko
main sambhaal lunga"
CHEAP MENTALITY-
To girls on being asked the menu "The special for 2day..... IS ME(yes he
does this sober)
Post 3 old monks....."Lonavala jaate hain Benc$%#"
SLOSHED.........."That's an ALTO, dats a CITY(car test taken by me :D)
Post A Crash..."I was saving a puppy :D"
STANDARD LINE " pulsar sucks :D"
On DAting a girl....."What's there to tell?? " :D
OIL WELL- STANDARD LINE- "I am NOT RICH/i dnt have oil wells"
FIRST YEAR- "Dude im thinkin of getting a city/lancer"
SECOND YEAR- "Dude im getting a lancer/city(notice how cunningly he changes
the orientation to make it different :D)!!
PRESENT DAY- "dude i got a pulsar 200..and im leaving the country in a month!)
GIRLS STANDARD LINES-
ALL TIME FAVOURITE- "HAMARE GHAR PE AISA NAHI HAI"
"The guys can go ahead....wats the problem yaar?"
"(after the plan has been made and one grl backs out) Yaar if M$%#a does'nt come i cannot come....and so on and on(and the plan falls)"
"Y DO V NEED TO GO OUT OF NAVI MUMBAI?"
"The guys cancelled the plan this time ....we were in"
These all that i can remember.....do feel free to leave ur comments!!!
(and of course my quotes also :D)!!!!
ode to the "original group"
Man is a social animal i'm told.....proof of this fact is that wherever we go we 'hang out' in groups(u know the ppl u pretend to like and they pretend to like you...but you bitch about each other,...yeah dats the one). Think about it...school...college....work...we stay in packs(this characteristic is more accurate with girls..or v notice it more because of the giggling :D)!!I'm no different...i was part of several groups in college....here's a brief story of 'the original' group(dats wht the rest of my frnds call them).
After orientation and the initial hiccups ...i was finally beginning to settle down a little at college and in my division.Now i dont remember exactly who i met first but i guess it was cheap mentality* with whom i actually had a conversation...to be honest it was simply my curiosity to figure how this guy is carrying a cellphone which is bigger than him(think original N-GAGE) i still havent been able to figure out that part but he's managed to confuse me even more...some doubts that remain are....How does he eat soo much.....how in gods name does he control a bike that must weigh 3times as much as him(how he does it DRUNK and with me as a pillion is a different story alltogether)..what exactly happend than night when he ditched me at the library and i found him on the terrace(remember sem4) :D...and of course how many girls was he with actually??:D...secret - get him high on old monk and a trip 2 lonavala is guranteed.. (P.S. He loves pussy.........)
I went up and spoke to shambhu*only because she was one of the few good looking females in my batch(yes its a she...her parents didn't like her alot dats y the name)..by the time i figured out she was not single it was already too late fr me as i was eating her tiffin on a very consistent basis and was hooked.My nerul pal when i was there....spoke and hung around alot (well she had 2,v were the only two ppl in the same division during 2nd year)and the food continued as i ate at her place more times than i can remembe....plenty of tp done while writing horrid journals and submissions(u DESERVED a C ...remember that one?)..parsik hill walks were alot of fun..P.S. vodka can get her talking :D
MAA* was easily the most welcoming of the lot and the strictest as i would discover later on....a simple 'shut up' from her is enuf to scare the living daylights out of most people.IS the unofficial decisiion maker and advice giver......and of course last day teacher fr me.!!!
MC*(madarch**) also goes by the name of bhooka bhedia cherry B and a few unmentionable ones.was one of the people hooked on to pool when it was the rage in college....decent CS player....and one ofthe nicest ppl ull meet...
Ganja/kitty shukla*- Bald boy who's tried all the baba ka dawai to cure baldness ....hfinally got fed up and shaved his head......also my "hypothetical"best pal......have bitched about enuf ppl with him...had a weird way of introducing himself in college (hi im @##$%sh with 2 e's)..rantsbullshit at an alarming rate....always late.....and highly unreliable fr a plan off late.....
Disha* The only person i think i truely hated initially....never even said hi.....all that changed when the Term test plan came into play.....applied sciences was the subject... she studied half and me half.....was a decent setup until we fighred out that coordination like reaching together in class early and grabbing a seat....marathon phone sessions and chats followed(shit till 4.30am and all man)....is never on time......will consistantly ditch with a bahana like 'puja hai' ready........but always finds time fr u if she senses u have a problem.. P.S - Cheap mentality and disha had been in the same class since class 7 and knew almost nothing about each other(WTF u say......i said it too)
Castrolised/dodo* Loud and round female ..hard to miss her when shes in the room...talks almost as much nonsense as me the difference being she thinks she's actually making sense.....it took her 3 years 2 realise that thane is a little far from nerul and her life started revolving around the Thane-Vashi train timings.....likes playing defender of the ppl who's case is being taken........makes life hell fr u with her taunts if she has any dirt on you(believe me i know)....
P.S She hears dirty things when she's drunk.... :D
Dagdu*- Bewda of the entire network.....has promised to quit whisky more times than ive gotten a KT.....gets all threatning and puts a "gun to your head" when he has enuf alcohol in him.....also promises.....has alot of contacts and talks ALOT when drunk......oh and i forgot 2 mention...the only person to get an MBA college amongst us :D
Oil well*Owner of the coveted Dave lounge......this guys has oil wells all over the world....me and him have alot of things in common :D....the dude just bought a bike for 3 months in this country man,...... :D(i hope he leaves it 2 me) :D
DAts all folks.......sucks that we dont meet as often as we used do and i really miss the times we've had.......i know we have missed out a few details but wt da heck man :D cheers!!!!
P.S. * names have been changed 2 protect identities....any resemblence to people living in mumbai and pune and amreeka is purely coincidental. :D
After orientation and the initial hiccups ...i was finally beginning to settle down a little at college and in my division.Now i dont remember exactly who i met first but i guess it was cheap mentality* with whom i actually had a conversation...to be honest it was simply my curiosity to figure how this guy is carrying a cellphone which is bigger than him(think original N-GAGE) i still havent been able to figure out that part but he's managed to confuse me even more...some doubts that remain are....How does he eat soo much.....how in gods name does he control a bike that must weigh 3times as much as him(how he does it DRUNK and with me as a pillion is a different story alltogether)..what exactly happend than night when he ditched me at the library and i found him on the terrace(remember sem4) :D...and of course how many girls was he with actually??:D...secret - get him high on old monk and a trip 2 lonavala is guranteed.. (P.S. He loves pussy.........)
I went up and spoke to shambhu*only because she was one of the few good looking females in my batch(yes its a she...her parents didn't like her alot dats y the name)..by the time i figured out she was not single it was already too late fr me as i was eating her tiffin on a very consistent basis and was hooked.My nerul pal when i was there....spoke and hung around alot (well she had 2,v were the only two ppl in the same division during 2nd year)and the food continued as i ate at her place more times than i can remembe....plenty of tp done while writing horrid journals and submissions(u DESERVED a C ...remember that one?)..parsik hill walks were alot of fun..P.S. vodka can get her talking :D
MAA* was easily the most welcoming of the lot and the strictest as i would discover later on....a simple 'shut up' from her is enuf to scare the living daylights out of most people.IS the unofficial decisiion maker and advice giver......and of course last day teacher fr me.!!!
MC*(madarch**) also goes by the name of bhooka bhedia cherry B and a few unmentionable ones.was one of the people hooked on to pool when it was the rage in college....decent CS player....and one ofthe nicest ppl ull meet...
Ganja/kitty shukla*- Bald boy who's tried all the baba ka dawai to cure baldness ....hfinally got fed up and shaved his head......also my "hypothetical"best pal......have bitched about enuf ppl with him...had a weird way of introducing himself in college (hi im @##$%sh with 2 e's)..rantsbullshit at an alarming rate....always late.....and highly unreliable fr a plan off late.....
Disha* The only person i think i truely hated initially....never even said hi.....all that changed when the Term test plan came into play.....applied sciences was the subject... she studied half and me half.....was a decent setup until we fighred out that coordination like reaching together in class early and grabbing a seat....marathon phone sessions and chats followed(shit till 4.30am and all man)....is never on time......will consistantly ditch with a bahana like 'puja hai' ready........but always finds time fr u if she senses u have a problem.. P.S - Cheap mentality and disha had been in the same class since class 7 and knew almost nothing about each other(WTF u say......i said it too)
Castrolised/dodo* Loud and round female ..hard to miss her when shes in the room...talks almost as much nonsense as me the difference being she thinks she's actually making sense.....it took her 3 years 2 realise that thane is a little far from nerul and her life started revolving around the Thane-Vashi train timings.....likes playing defender of the ppl who's case is being taken........makes life hell fr u with her taunts if she has any dirt on you(believe me i know)....
P.S She hears dirty things when she's drunk.... :D
Dagdu*- Bewda of the entire network.....has promised to quit whisky more times than ive gotten a KT.....gets all threatning and puts a "gun to your head" when he has enuf alcohol in him.....also promises.....has alot of contacts and talks ALOT when drunk......oh and i forgot 2 mention...the only person to get an MBA college amongst us :D
Oil well*Owner of the coveted Dave lounge......this guys has oil wells all over the world....me and him have alot of things in common :D....the dude just bought a bike for 3 months in this country man,...... :D(i hope he leaves it 2 me) :D
DAts all folks.......sucks that we dont meet as often as we used do and i really miss the times we've had.......i know we have missed out a few details but wt da heck man :D cheers!!!!
P.S. * names have been changed 2 protect identities....any resemblence to people living in mumbai and pune and amreeka is purely coincidental. :D
Monday, August 17, 2009
first post
Hello ppl frst post ever.....
I wonder how is that some ppl wlk up2 me and gimme nonsense like "i love working(ofcourse if ur job gives u a BMW series 7 and trophy wife/gf then i'd love it as well)" but for me its a far cry from what dreams i had.God forbid if the college you pass out from is RAIT and then the moment you start wrkin the only thing u can say is WTF???!!!!its a bundle of lies and myths....some terms i learn in office
INDUCTION- A series of confusing events post which you think.,.."am i in the right office"??
TEAM LUNCH- The first and only 'free lunch' that your company will give you....
MEETING- A place where the whole team makes fun of the PPT being presented......
STRATEGY MEETING- A place where selected ppl make fun of the PPT beig presented
CTC- cost 2 company..an exorbatent sum quoted 2 get u 2 join the firm.....the money u take home is a lot lesser.
TRAINING- Ur companies way of trying 2 teach u coding cuz lets face it..v never did pay attention in college
ON THE JOB TRAINING- Learning yourself when the company does not have money to train you.
NOTICE PERIOD- The time for which the boss gets to torture you cuz u need the experience letter.
BOSS- Like the principal of college...only better paid.....and more effective :D
WORK- What all of us pretend 2 do fr 9 hours
ENGINEER- Any one who knows header files of a language :D
QUALITY ASSURANCE EXERT- Fancy word for a tester.tells the coder that he stinks at his job.
HR- poor soul harassed by everyone in the company for everything from hiring-firing, leaves...pay and freee food
HOLIDAY- R u friggin kidding me?????there are none...
CANTEEN/CAFE- a non existant entity in a small company...in bigger firms...the place where cheap food exists.
TEAM- The ppl who the boss tortures along with u. Also the ppl u must adjust with if u want some TP at work...
FRIDAY- the best day of wrk....specially after the 2nd half...e1 seems extra happy and chilled
MONDAY- The wrst day of wrk..u have to make an effort to smile.
WEEKENDS- When you actually feel like yourself.
FRIENDS- The same ppl who u used 2 eat and sleep with literally but now have 2 say 'see u next week' and mean it . :(
BONUS- The carrot dangled in front of employees so that they run faster(like donkeys of course) :D
FRESHER- Useless "resource" who is actually of no consequence but is tld that he' an asset.
OVERTIME- The time you spend in the office 2 finish wrk and dnt get paid for it.
PAYDAY- The day it all becomes worhtwhile(at least materialistically).
diclaimer- i am not an expert at wrk and some of the above info may not be true....but wat the heck!!!!
any comments are welcome...my friends will b mentioned and insulted soon sob ready
and P.S. thankyou dodo for pushing me 2 get the blog.
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